Life: Topsy Turvy

This time of year always feels a little busy, a little dizzy, a little up-and-down. The start of a new school year always feels like the real new year, the new start of things, and the shift from summer to autumn is always a big change.

I'm excited for my favourite part of the year, autumn and early winter. It's a time of year where I'm always learning, growing, changing, and this year I'm sure will prove to be no exception. I've got big plans, big ideas, and lots of fun planned too.

I'm excited to meet my new class. I'm excited to learn what 2018 might bring. I'm excited to keep going on my weight loss quest*. I'm excited for cooler temperatures, madder schedules, and good times with good folks. I'm excited for our continued house renovation and reorganisation project.

It may be topsy turvy around here, but that's no bad thing!

Happy September, you beautiful folk.







* Speaking of the quest, a quick update. Turns out my old scales were wrong, and my actual start weight was 290 pounds.

Flipping heck.

In less stressful news, this morning I tipped the scales at 260 pounds. 30 pounds down and one-fifth of the way to my ultimate goal. Onwards!

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Back to it!

It's been an odd few months in my blogging life. Going from having so much time to write to being back to a full-time job, along with a fair amount of time away on holidays, had me feeling a little lost and finding it tricky to find a schedule that would work. I find with a teaching timetable the temptation can be rather feast-or-famine when it comes to writing - when on break I can post daily, but my term-time schedule naturally means a lot less time to post. So I've been struggling a little with what sort of timing I want to use for my posts, and how I want to work on my writing.

Because that's why I'm here. I'm here to write, to share, to read, to connect. I've been writing here for over eleven years, and while some things have come and gone, and others rise and fall like the tides, I'm here for the words. I think my photography is improving, I try my best on social, I'm constantly intrigued by vlogging...but the words are the thing.

When I read posts from a few years ago, I love how into it I was. And I think I've lost that a little along the way, and I'm determined to get my writing mojo back. The events and the gifts and the perks are all grand, but it's the writing I want to dive back into. Whether it's sharing about a holiday, writing up a book review, extolling the virtues of a delicious meal, or just sharing about something I'm inspired by, or worried about, or simply want to air, that's what this blog was created for. I love the journey my writing has taken me on, and I'm determined to re-embrace my love of sharing the things that matter to me, that make me giggle, or which make me think.

The new plan?

Three posts a week - Monday, Wednesday, Friday. During summer I could aim for every day, but I want to have a fair few posts scheduled for the start of the Autumn Term too! I also hope this means I can summit the huge pile o' posts I need to get written on our lovely travels. I have lots of other writing to do away from here too and I hope by going for three posts a week it'll even out nicely. This also means when great events or opportunities do arise there's more breathing space in which to add them!

More reading & commenting on other's blogs - I've added a blogroll back to my side bar (>>>>) so it's easier to keep up with what my faves are writing. I've added a good few dozen blogs but the most recent ten will show here. It's working well already for keeping me in the loop! I miss the old days of reading, engaging and commenting more on actual posts, and this is my mini quest to improve this.

Fewer sponsored/'featuring'/event/review posts. I love the opportunities this blog affords me, but I'm going to be far more discerning about the ones I take up. I'm so lucky that on occasion someone will invite me to try their restaurant/hotel/book/product and I'm always grateful for these things, but I want to avoid overwhelm and overstretch and take up fewer opportunities and (hopefully) do them justice.

Generally? Enjoying it more. I hope you'll join me in this new little phase!

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An Ode To January

I love the January chill.

I love the January lull.

After the November darkening, as the nights draw in, and the fun and brightness of the Christmas season, I love this little portion of the year. For some the darker feel can get oppressive, and there have certainly been years where I've felt the weight of it all. Years and years of Januarys have improved this though, and thanks to a few tricks and changes (including but not limited to extending my sleep schedule by a half-hour, spending a little time with a SAD-lamp, taking vitamin D, increasing my veggie intake and walking for a decent amount several times a week) I'm able to embrace this navy-blue month in all its glory.

Yes, to me, January is a deep, dark navy blue. the colour of night skies and school uniforms. When I was younger I didn't really see the beauty in Januarys. It was so easy to get distracted and swept away by the bright pinks and oranges of summer, the twinkling fairy lights of December, or the burnt oranges and nut browns of October. With age I've acquired a fondness for January though, and always try to remember to stop and think about all the reasons I adore it so.

January is a great month for reading, watching and listening. In the brighter summer months I always feel like I should be out and about, but in murky and damp January no-one judges you for curling up. It's a time for weekend afternoons curled up cosy with a cup of tea and a ood book or two. Or going to the movies and sitting in the warm, in the dark, letting the magicians of Hollywood sweep you away. Or losing a string of evenings to a boxset or a Netflix binge.

January is for planning. I know it's a fairly arbitrary way of looking at the world, but so help me I love watching the calendar tick over to a new year. January is a great time to set goals, build towards dreams, and plan. Matthew and I are looking forward to holiday planning, and I've got a pleasant little list of things I'd like to achieve with my work, my writing, and other areas.

January is for wholesome, hearty food. I love breaking out the slow cooker and making stews  and soups and chillis. It's the perfect time to make bread - a toasty home on a cold day with fresh bread baking is the very epitome of homey bliss. I love adding new flavours and ingredients to our roster and cooking lovely meals.

January is for catching up. Everyone heads off on the four winds for Christmas, but in January town feels busy once more. I'm loving seeing my diary fill with brunches, lunches and (early) dinners.

January is for sleep. Never is it so easy to turn in as in these velvety dark nights! Getting up is a tad harder, of course, but earlier bedtimes have me well rested and reading to set off for another day; albeit a day which starts for me while the sky is still inky-black-blue overhead.

So that's my cosy, social, book-heavy January.​ What does this month mean to you?

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Relatable or Aspirational? Let's be both

I don't often blog-about-blogging here (except when I do), but some recent chat on twitter has got me thinking, and here seemed the ideal place to have a little ponder and a word based wander on the theme - as much as I adore me some twitter time, when you're as verbose as me, sometimes you need to break out of the 140 characters and have a wee ramble. I will still use gifs in this post though, because they are my love language...

The current discussion seems to want to divide the blogging community into two clear camps.

Camp one is the 'relatable' bloggers - like a 'celebrities, they're just like us' page come to life. All human life is here, complete with burned suppers, creased clothes, period cramps, late night worries and budget tricks. Camp two is the 'aspirational' bloggers - they have it all, from the hangbag du jour to the eyebrows on fleek. Like the Regina Georges of the scene (without the being-evil-geniuses part) these are the bloggers we want to be, whose lives we are meant to covet.

However.

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On Friendship

When I woke up this morning, blissfully late, for once, at nine o'clock (my midthirties body tends to wake up at six or seven most days. It's handy for most days but does mean I miss those long lazy lie-ins of my teens and twenties), I checked twitter as I made a coffee and got ready for the day. And there I discovered that today is International Day of Friendship. Which is handy, because I've been meaning to write about friendship for a few weeks now. So what better timing could there be than on the day we celebrate friendship itself?

It goes without saying that I love my current friends. I also have a lot of love for the friends who I've lost touch with, fallen out with, or that I simply don't see enough as the tides of life have swept us apart. I'm a big believer that people come into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, and I'm constantly marvelling at the gifts and lessons my friendships have brought me.

Growing up as a military brat, friendships always had a transitory, befriend-quick-cut-ties-quick element to them. It'd hard to believe that you'll be friends forever when at any moment you can be posted hundreds of miles away. But these friendships taught me about the power of connection, the joy of shared passions.

Going to a boarding school where the friendship groupings felt pretty darn Game of Thrones was a challenge too. For someone who grew up feeling like she didn't belong, the dorms and forms and constant company was a blessing, but the politics of friendship were at times exhausting. These friendships taught me about loyalty, honesty, and being true to yourself.

Joining a school at sixteen where a good portion of your classmates had known each other since primary school was challenging, but by then I was far more comforatble in myself and I made some good, silly friends there, many of whom I still see from time to time, popping up on facebook in new jobs, with newborns, getting married, and a few of whom are real, true friends.

And then came university, and after that, adulthood, and a raft of women who have changed me, challenged me, inspired me, loved me, cheered me on, believed in me and made my life a richer, happier, more wonderful place. I've made friends through work, hobbies, blogging, mutual friends and I am so, so grateful for the people I get to do life with. Some people were friends for a few months or a few years but I'm grateful for what they taught me, and what they brought into my life. Some people have stayed the course and the cast of my life is one I'm thankful for, every single day.

To have friends to love is one of the chief joys of my life, and in case I don't say it enough (I always worry about that), thank you thank you thank you to my wonderful friends. I truly don't deserve you, but I'm so blessed to know each and every one of you. Thank you for making my life the beautiful place it is. Watching you all as you absolutely crush it, writing beautiful things; creating gorgeous homes; nailing difficult, challenging jobs; parenting adorable children (and puppies and kits, of course); traveling, growing and learning is the absolute best. I love you.

And to close, some soppy pictures - just a few moments with some of my friends. Note to self though: get some more recent pics with some of the crew! Choosing these pictures I'm reminded how lucky I am, truly.

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Happy Monday/Ten Happy Things #1

Hello all, and happy Monday! I hope you had a good weekend and that you're raring to go with a brand new week...failing that I hope you have plenty of coffee and a kind commute.

I love doing little round ups and am almost unremittingly optimistic, so I've been meaning to join in with Katy's 'Happy Mondays' and Jasmin's 'Ten Happy Things' for-ever. This month, I've actually pulled my finger out and planned to do so. I love catching up with all the little things that might not merit a whole blog post, and these round ups are the perfect way to do so. Here we go!

1. A heavenly house party

Last week the lovely Leanne messaged a bunch of us with a unique predicament. She had won a pair of 'Golden Tickets' to the Heavenly House Party an event being held by 7th Heaven to celebrate their thirtieth birthday. Alas, life called her away from London, so she wanted to know if anyone was free to use them (the brand very kindly let us transfer them across). After some diary discussions, it transpired that both Katie and I were free, so we spent a lovely few hours being pampered; doing classes in mindfulness, yoga and pilates; making our own facemasks; and generally having a lovely time. I left feeling replenished and oh-so-relaxed.

2. Lunch with blogger buddies.

On Wednesday I was lucky enough to catch up with Erica, Charlie and Miss Pond over lunch at Wahaca. I adore whenever I can find time to connect with my wonderful blog friends IRL! I also love when the brand gifts us free margaritas via twitter (way to go, Erica!).

3. Study progress.

We are officially at the halfway point! Post to follow with a proper update, but the new study and spare room are starting to take shape.

4. Veep.

I swear, this show just keeps getting better and better. The characters, the writing, the sweariness...I just cannot get enough.

5. Early morning Monday adventures with Charlie.

Last Monday the gorgeous Charlie invited me along to an early morning event hosted by Lipton in the Barbican Conservatory as part of their #isitMondayyet campaign. I've always wanted to go to have a look around the conservatory, and do love breakfast, so I was happy to be able to attend. We played on a fruity xylophone, snacked on unusual fruits, and witnessed a peach tea mushroom cloud. Hands down one of the more out there starts to a week I've had - today's coffee and toast can't quite compete...

6. Electro Brunch.

On Saturday, Kaz and I went to Gaucho in Smithfields for the Electro Brunch. Full review to follow, but oh my goodness, it was marvellous...

7. Work experience.

I spent two days lat week doing some work experience with a brand who work in content creation and social media and I loved it. The team were incredibly welcoming and so talented; I loved being able to see how they worked and to contribute a few bits and bobs to their process, Great fun, and such a wonderful opportunity.

8. Christmas in....June.

This month I already have a fair few 'Christmas in July' events to attend (I love these - as a Christmas fiend, getting to see what brands have in store for the festive season is such a treat!), but Waitrose kicked things off at the end of June. Miss Pond and I headed over together and had such fun exploring their ranges of food, decor and gifting for Christmas 2016. I'll be doing a proper round up once high summer has past and the winter chill descends, but I was so excited to see the beautiful offerings on display.

9. Instagram.

I am really enjoying Instagram at the moment. For a while I was feeling a little stuck with it - for a chatterbox like me Twitter comes more naturally - but I'm enjoying it more and more. If you'd like to follow me over there, I'm @cmclaire.

10. Ascot.

I loved heading to Royal Ascot with Appletiser last month, and this weekend I get to go to Ascot again. Matthew and his father both have their birthdays this month, so we and the in-laws are getting together to watch the geegees! I love the races (and the champagne, too!) so am really looking forward to it. I hope the weather is better than that we had for Royal Ascot though - that day was decidedly soggy!

Have a great week, all!

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The Shower Principle

I first heard about the shower principle on an episode of 30 Rock. 

I have learned many things from 30 Rock, as it stands.

Jack explains to Liz Lemon that the shower principle is the idea meaning that when you empty your mind of all the noise of the world, then great ideas can flourish. Whether you're playing golf, meditating, or simply taking a shower, some of your best ideas can blossom when you're focused away from the multitude of pulls modern life has on you.

I certainly find this to be true - it's often when I'm walking, or in the shower, or kneading bread, or something else routine and monotonous and steady, that I get my big ideas. Away from screens and other people, calm and relaxed, that's where most of my good ideas come up. And apparently I'm not alone - I was sent this infographic by Mira Showers, which shows that many of us have similar ponderings in the shower.

I'm a stats geek, so I was intrigued by some of the findings in the research behind the infographic.  Apparently 29% of Londoners think of comebacks to arguments.... I don't. But then, I don't argue often.  I love a good debate (movies, politics, ethics, cheese...) but I don't actually like fighting. And 14% of people brush their teeth in the shower. I totally do this! If I'm having a quick morning shower, why not multitask?

I think I'd like to do my own shower research based on this infographic, because I think there's more to learn! I may cook up a google form to find out more. For example, how many people sing in the shower? What do they sing? How long do people take in the shower? What's the preferred temperature? What's the best idea they've ever come up with in the shower? When do people shower - are they early birds or nighttime owls? Who listens to music? Who prefers baths?

Man, I'm intrigued now. I feel some research coming on!





Disclaimer: This is not a sponsored post - the infographic just got me thinking!

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A low, a low, a low, a low.....

FUN FACT NUMBER ONE: Singing the title line above to the "Hello, hello, hello, hello" refrain from Smells Like Teen Spirit is super fun.

FUN FACT NUMBER TWO: This is not a happy clappy Claire post.  But there is a happy twist at the end, so do stick with it if that's your bag.

So, I've had a bit of a wobbly week. Or two.

In this season of my life, it's all a bit rollercoastery and unknown.  Nine times out of ten that is fantastic, exciting, thrilling...the other ten per cent of the time it's beffudling and scary, and sometimes a little sad.

Lately the 10% has hit me, hard.  It's had me riddled with self doubt and sad and pretty lonely.  As the divine Katie would describe it, the 'anxiety goblin' was riding high on the hog.  When this happens I enter the same spiral, and my subconscious basically berates me, and before I know it nothing (not friends, not sleep, not TV, not books, not even kitty cats) can distract me from the inner monologue in my head, which on any given day is "You're such a bad writer / friend / wife / sister / daughter / blogger / person."  The order of titles and focus shifts, but the message is always loud and clear: YOU SUCK, CLAIRE.

FUN FACT NUMBER THREE: As an ex-teacher, and a longtime reader of everything Debrett's has ever published, I cannot tell you how it pains me that my inner anxiety goblin is the kind of horror who shouts "YOU SUCK!" at volume.

Once I'm already feeling down, something always happens to kick the boot in.  A nasty comment, a missed opportunity - it can be a huge thing, it can be a little thing, but it's always a thing.

So I'm sad and down and feeling defeated, and then comes the guilt.

I feel so guilty when I'm feeling down and blue and wanting to go hide in a cave somewhere.  In this big old world I truly appreciate how hashtag-blessed I am, but sometimes I still get sad.  So then that freaking goblin starts in on me with that.

"How ungrateful are you?  You get to write and create and live in London and you are sad?  What a selfish heap of c**p you are!  People are struggling!  People are ill!  You don't have the RIGHT to be sad!!"

FUN FACT NUMBER FOUR: Everyone has the right to be sad.  I know this.  You know this. We all know this. The anxiety goblin does not know this.

So the spiral continues, and I withdraw and I cry and I do a lot of sitting and staring.  The screen stays blank and the page unfilled and I cancel plans and I do not sleep and I sleep too much.

And then, after a day, or three, or seven....the storm breaks.  Like Glinda the Good Witch, my normal subconscious (think a Labrador, or an otter) sweeps in and dispells all the worry and self-hatred (well, a good portion of it), and I'm back to my normal self.

I'm glad to be back. I've missed being myself.

How are you all today?



FUN FACT NUMBER FIVE: The permalink for the post has automagically become a-low-low-low-low....so now I have a Flo-Rida earworm in addition to the Nirvana one.  You're welcome.

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A list post: Things I am a *sucker* for....

• Kitty cuddles.

• Ben and Jerry's Phish Food ice cream.

• Watching certain movies whenever I happen upon them playing on TV.  Including, but by no means limited to, Sister Act (and Sister Act 2: Back in the Habit, naturally), Pretty Woman, Mean Girls, Pitch Perfect, Die Hard, and Coming to America.

• Buy one get one free offers on produce.  I buy far too many salad vegetables every time I cross the threshold of an M&S.  Other areas where I'm weak when it comes to such finaglings are stationery, books, and toiletries.

• A good cry.  Give me a sappy bit of prose in a book, a heartfelt song, or a weepy movie, and I just dissolve.

• Kids selling anything,  Cookies for a bake sale, tickets for a raffle, assorted items at a jumble sale - I'm a sucker for a tiny businessperson.

• Cat videos.  Dog videos.  Squirrel videos.

• 1990s hip hop.  So help me, I'm sure there's a whole swathe of science/politics/history I can't recall because there are some Fresh Prince and Jazzy Jeff lyrics stuck in that part of my brain.

• Lip-syncing along to whatever I'm listening to when I go for my daily walks.  Leyton is getting a lot of me mouthing the words to Hamilton at the moment.

• A good gin martini.

• Planning.  Holidays, visits, Christmas - I'm a sucker for a good list and a spreadsheet!

So those are my gaggle of weaknesses, I'm curious to know - what are you a sucker for?

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The View from 35

 As I sit typing this wearing my party hat, it's my thirty-fifth birthday.  A ways away from thirty, with forty still a blip on the horizon, it feels like a nice age to be.  Those of you who've spoken to me about birthdays and getting older will know that I am loving my thirties, and I'm imagining that trend will continue as I toddle onwards through the decade.  I loved my twenties (for the most part), and much of my teens, but the thirties have brought with them a confidence, serenity, and at times a calm I really wasn't anticipating.

I remember when I was studying for my PGCE in Durham - which feels like a lifetime ago - Naomi and I would often cite 35 as a landmark age.  When we were contemplating our futures and mapping out our lifetime to do lists over cups and cups and cups of tea, this is the age we often fell on when setting benchmarks.  Those conversations seem so funny now, our little checklists, but I smile when I think of what we've achieved, and what we've let go of.  Life's journey is nothing if not amusing from time to time.

I was mulling over what to write in this post for the last week or so.  I knew baby photos were a must, and throughout this post I've shared dozens of pictures of my story so far - birthdays make me nostalgic. These pictures are chronological so they don't always go with the thought above (four-year-old me was not into cocktails)...but I hope they raise a smile.  For the main part of the post, I wanted to share 35 things I've learned.  So far.  Some of these lessons came hard, some came easy, but a birthday felt like a suitable time to share them...  I'd never claim to be the cleverest or wisest person in the room (to paraphrase Forrest Gump, "I may not be a smart girl..."), but I also feel like we all have a few things to share, a few pearls of wisdom to offer, a truth to tell.  These are mine, in no especial order - I'd love to hear some of yours in the comments.

1.  As much as you can, try to like yourself.  It can be hard not to get over-critical and unkind when looking at yourself in the mirror, but extend yourself a little kindness.  You're stuck with yourself for an awful long time, if you're lucky.

2. A warm bath and an early night can fix many things.

3. Vote! Participate.

4. Find a favourite cocktail (mine's a Tanqueray martini, straight up with a twist, extra dry).

5. Try to practice gratitude every day.  If you can read this, sitting in a warm space, with a full belly, on a computer or tablet or phone, you are already a lucky human being.  As am I.

6. Learn from your friends, family and others around you - their talents and skills can help you to improve.

7. In karaoke, go big or go home.

8. Ditto dancing.  And Christmas decorating.

9. Don't just berate your body for what it can't do.  Celebrate it for what it can do.

10. Surprise people with gifts, letters, treats, texts, emails, compliments whenever you can.  We all have opportunities to improve another person's day.

11. Make time for silence and stillness.

12. Some people just plain will not like you.  *dons sunglasses a la the 'deal with it' meme*

13. You cannot change people.  People change themselves.  You can help, you can hope, but you can't do the changing for them (or they for you).

14. If you're lucky enough to find a partner you love, appreciate them and help them as much as you can.  To do life together is a privilege and a delight.

15. Friendships fade, and friendships fail.  Learn to know the difference between those two things, and learn to let things go and move on, while still honouring the time shared.  The best friendships will grow and change and strengthen, and if you're lucky enough to have friends like that, huzzah!

16. Put time and effort into your home,  Nesting is worthwhile.

17. Sometimes a good cry is just what required.

18. Know when to leave a party.

19. Tell the people you love that you love them.  Do it often.

20. Learn when not to say anything.

21. Hug often.

22. Don't apologise for guilty pleasures.

23. Appreciate those around you.

24. Be gentle, with others and with yourself.

25. Helping others is good for the soul.  Whether it's helping a friend move, volunteering, or doing a little random act of kindness, there's so much to learn and gain from giving.

26. Find people who make you better, who make you laugh, who inspire you and challenge you.

27. Learn a few little frugal tips and tricks.  You never know when they might come in handy.

28. Travel.

29. Choose your battles.

30. Make time to learn & explore.

31. Respect people who disagree with you, and learn to argue with grace.

32. Learn a few great recipes, so you can rustle up a nice meal quickly and happily.

33. Always listen to children when they tell you their tales.  There's a magic and a wonder to be found there.

34. Give second chances.

35.  Put yourself out there.  It's scary and nervewracking, but sometimes it's the leaping that makes us take flight.

Thank you all for indulging a birthday ramble.  And thank you as ever to all the awesome people who make my little life such a joy.  I have many blessings to count.

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